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pucelle-ryev:

1boo:

greencrook:

The first time someone tried to steal my bag in the subway I panicked and I broke his arm with an umbrella and since then none of my friends will let me forget about this.
If you think this was a badass moment you need to remember I’m 5 ft and my bag was a Lucky Star bag and I was crying while hitting someone much bigger than me repeatedly with a frog-shaped umbrella. 

you are my hero

"If you think Im badass, here’s some things to confirm it"

(via nope-not-today-loser)

gamegrrl:

did a little eyeliner tutorial for you guys :-)

(via nope-not-today-loser)


Purposely intimidating racist old white men on public transport.

Purposely intimidating racist old white men on public transport.

(Source: youdidwhatnow, via nope-not-today-loser)

lemongrabvevo:

When you’re in the middle of writing a sentence and accidently press send

image

(Source: maboukes, via thehilariousblog)

carryonmy-assbutt:

lolfunnow:

My brother and his wife got in a fight last night. She apparently used his phone as a ninja star.

how hard did she throw that

carryonmy-assbutt:

lolfunnow:

My brother and his wife got in a fight last night. She apparently used his phone as a ninja star.

how hard did she throw that

(via thehilariousblog)

sirbombalot:

Fill your heart with bees. If someone breaks your heart, then they have to deal with the bees.

(via thehilariousblog)

mszombi:

meladoodle:

one time when i was like 12 my dad wanted me to put a dvd in the dvd player and i was like ‘what do i get in return’ and he said ‘you can have half of the winnings of this stupid lotto ticket’ and he ended up winning 600,000 dollars and i was so pleased with myself. 300,000 dollars when youre 12 is pretty much like infinity dollars. he was so mad

Shit, man, $300,000 would be like infinity dollars to me now.

(Source: meladoodle, via thehilariousblog)

Anonymous said: dirty confession: i'm a teacher and my ex had a teacher fantasy so i'd talk math formulas before we did the do and after a while I was curious so i said the quadratic formula in public and he automatically got a boner and we broke up because i thought it was really funny and wouldn't stop doing it

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST